amazing gift

Bud,

We missed you at Bri's party yesterday.  So much in fact that on the way home Lil and I decided to stop by to see you (with a pit stop to pick up a hot pink baby rose bush to plant, Lil's idea).  We stayed a while and Lance, Sarah and the kids came by to visit also.  As we left Lilly started with the questions.  First, who are all the other people visiting?  Are those people in Heaven with you?  Are they happy to be in Heaven like you are?  Do they like Heaven and think it's fun?  Then here comes her idea..." Mommy I got an idea, we should all move to Heaven instead of California(she just learned about CA).  We can all go, Grandpa's, Grandma's, Aunties, Uncles, friends.  Everyone would like it better and we wouldn't miss daddy anymore!"

Probably the best solution to this crappy situation ANYONE has given me!  If, of course, it were only that simple.

I would like to give you credit on this one, but I have a feeling, on this, she's ALL me.  You used to tell me "Jenn, you think too much!"  I even catch myself doing it sometimes now.  Well, our Lil is a thinker.  She put this messed up puzzle together and it looks better then I thought it would.  Of course we had a long chat while driving home about since Heaven is so great we can't ALL go at once.  We have to wait for our turn.  Then I told her I didn't plan on going for a long time and I hoped she would stay with me.  She then lightened my load by saying " that's fine as long as we can stop and get red Gatorade like daddy liked".

Damn, I'm lucky to have her!  I think back to February when I was showing pics of Lilly to Joseph's wife Morgan and she said "Lilly is truly a special gift to the world.  You can tell by looking at her that she is here for a purpose."  I remember telling you that and you beamed from ear to ear with pride. 

Who knew at that time how amazing of a gift she really is to all of us.

Miss ya more then words

Luv Ya,

Jenn

they just keep coming

Bud,
So this week has been full of memories of you: On Sunday we had a pool party for the 4th of July with awesome friends and family.  Something you would be surprised to hear, we have become friends with Manu, Kai and Omari and family. They all came. They are awesome people.  So weird that your passing is what brought us to meet.  We all had a fun time, but you were definitely missed.  For me there were times when I expected you to jump in the pool, come out of the house with your BBQ gear or be running around late night cleaning up the mess.  Then the fourth and fireworks. Something that you loved so much.  Where to go to see the best fireworks.  I think I have seen them more places then anyone else thanks to you.  I was thinking of last year at the top of the parking garage to watch at the Angels and then racing over to catch the Disneyland show.  This year we just walked down to the park and watched from there.  Lilly held her first sparkler and thought it was amazing! Wish it was you that would have lit it for her.  And now today, July 7, our anniversary. I remember 2 things like yesterday: 1.  When we first started dating on your graduation, spent every day together from that date until the end of the summer and on July 7 you asked, so are we dating? 2. On July 7 2004, our 10th anniversary, the first after we were married and you said to me, "we don't celebrate 2 anniversaries now, right?" 7794 was our password for everything for years. 
The week will end with an Angels game, our first without you.  We're going with Manu, his wife Stephanie and their 2 little ones.  If you don't already know, the Angels are doing pretty freakin good this year and hopefully won't disappoint like your Lakers did. And yes, I changed your tow-hitch for you to your Angels.

The end to a week that had some fun but always had a big hole in it for me.  I miss you.

Luv ya,
Jenn