Bud,
One word that I wished Lil didn't have so much knowledge on: Heaven. How many 5 year olds use it in their daily vocabulary, I should hope not many. But, this has become part of our norm and is usually part of some version of bedtime conversation. Funny that bedtime is the time that we both miss you the most. Everyday her curiosity and wanting of detail grows. In the past 6 months it went from simply "What is Heaven?" to her very well thought out game plan tonight "We can all go together and then no one will miss anyone!"
But tonight was different. It wasn't just questions but it was how it ended. Tonight was the first time that Lilly really cried for you. I think she realized that there is no going to Heaven to see you no matter what kind of idea she came up with, so she cried. She misses her Daddy. Not anything specific, just you.
How unfair that a 5 year old should have to go without something so special. Her daddy. All of the little things that only you knew to do with her are irreplaceable. The love that you had for her and she has for you is unmeasurable. It's what I have come to realize I will NEVER be able to fix.
I feel in my heart that these are the first tears of many that will follow. You are in Heaven and we are here. No game plan or waiving of her wand is going to change it and your little one has figured that out.
We miss you and love you more then words.
Luv Ya,
Jenn
