Bud,
New Year's Eve. Tomorrow is 2012. All I keep seeing and hearing is a "New" year. I especially enjoy the usual "I can't wait for 2012 because 2011 was so bad to me!" REALLY...defining my year by a single occurrence, I'm pretty certain that I could at least be in the top 5 of anyone that we know for a bad 2011. But, when I really think about it, apart from you missing in everything that we did, 2011 had a lot of exciting things in it. Having a 5 year old puts it in to perspective. Because, lets face it, that's what my life is really about now. She had about 167 days that were the "BEST DAY EVER!". Travel, school, holidays really drove us through the past 9 months and most of 2011. It never surprised me though, when in the midst of the excitement daddy almost always comes up. She notices you missing and says it aloud, as I am always thinking it but keep it to myself. You would be very proud of how much more she is like you then we ever knew.
I feel little to no excitement for 2012 to come upon us, to me it's just another year. To be honest, we'll probably watch the ball drop in New York and be done with the whole thing by 9:03pm. We'll continue doing what we do. More exciting things for Lilly which many of them will be new, just happening in a different year. I will continuee my same resolution that I began 9 months ago, just keep moving forward. We will keep keeping on. Maybe going in to 2013 I will have something else to say that puts a more positive spin on this "New" year thing, but for today it's just Saturday going on Sunday and the beginning of 2012.
The holidays just weren't the same without you and miss you more than words!
Luv ya,
Jenn
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
the best christmas ever?
Bud,
One week until Christmas. Normally super exciting. But as I lay awake, getting maybe only 4 good hours of sleep again, excitement just escapes me.
We have had a lot of really special, fun times already this month: driving around and light hunting, Mission Inn, parties, Bri's recital, Lilly's holiday party, Disneyland a few times. And although each one carries with it an emptiness, we have had fun. Especially Lil, who loves to remind us that this is the best Christmas ever! This phrase, that we hear almost daily, is like music and daggers at the same time to me. I am so happy and relieved that, with all that has happened, our sweet girl can have this feeling about Christmas. But to me, I think, really?!?!?! This, the best Christmas?!?!?! How can it be! Of course the key word is think. I would NEVER let on that I too do not believe in this "best Christmas ever" mantra.
Wish you were here to really make this the best Christmas ever.
Luv ya,
Jenn
One week until Christmas. Normally super exciting. But as I lay awake, getting maybe only 4 good hours of sleep again, excitement just escapes me.
We have had a lot of really special, fun times already this month: driving around and light hunting, Mission Inn, parties, Bri's recital, Lilly's holiday party, Disneyland a few times. And although each one carries with it an emptiness, we have had fun. Especially Lil, who loves to remind us that this is the best Christmas ever! This phrase, that we hear almost daily, is like music and daggers at the same time to me. I am so happy and relieved that, with all that has happened, our sweet girl can have this feeling about Christmas. But to me, I think, really?!?!?! This, the best Christmas?!?!?! How can it be! Of course the key word is think. I would NEVER let on that I too do not believe in this "best Christmas ever" mantra.
Wish you were here to really make this the best Christmas ever.
Luv ya,
Jenn
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