Bud,
As each week comes upon me I take it, living with the "it is what it is" modo. But, damn, this one (give or take a few days) hits, below the belt. My birthday, which is just the beginning. With the attitude that I can totally handle this one. Then the call that your headstone, of which I have been both dreading and counting down the days for, is arrived and ready. You got nothing on me headstone. Then, brace for it, the fucking Father-Daughter dance. What?!?!?! Where did you come from. I have thrown away every flyer and reminder from the school...hear no evil see no evil. But, yet, Lilly wakes up in the morning to tell me how excited she was. See, she had no clue that the word alone, "Father" has any bearing on her going. It was a dance, and that's all she heard. So, when I said, "who are you taking?" she hadn't thought that far. And why should she. I can almost guarantee that no other little girl had to think much into it. Not the way Lil had to. But, here we are, Grandpa-Granddaughter Dance upon us.
And the kicker, Valentines Day, hanging over my head like a nasty black cloud. The holiday that has so many mixed feelings...funny memories, lonely thoughts, and just plain down scarlet letter feelings, I guess I'll let ya know how that winds up.
I miss ya this week.
Luv Ya,
Jenn
