soccer for dummies

Bud,
Lilly is ready to play soccer.  We registered last weekend and I got an email reminding me of what I have been thinking about(probably too much)...playing without you.

I'm disappointed that you won't be able to see her.  I'm also really realizing that I know nothing about soccer.  True, I've been to countless games to cheer you on, but it's not the same.  I was always so excited for her to play soccer, encouraged by your coaching.  I laugh to myself when I think how you had it all planned out...soccer, ballet for balance and prepping her for UCLA.  I told her about that the other day and she asked, "How did Daddy know that I wanted to do ballet?" 

I'll figure it out.  That's pretty much been my daily mantra over the past 10 months.  It's funny how that saying can go both ways for me: giving me confidence vs. expressing my ongoing frustration of how much there is to figure out.  Rarely the confidence and often the frustration. 

There are plenty of friends that can help her and that's awesome but sometimes I feel like, at some point, it's not up to them. 

So I'm back again at buying Soccer for Dummies.  I'm gonna figure this shit out on my own and just enjoy the company of all those friends while we watch Lilly play.  I can't guarantee UCLA but we'll do our best!

I have missed you everyday for the past 10 months,

Jenn